THINGS THEY DON'T TELL ABOUT SHAME

What you did that! oh God! what a shame. How can you eat that much? Hey, don't mind but can I know why are you still single? What? Don't talk like that about your parents. Why are you wearing those ugly specs.

Very Very subtle examples of shaming.

Shaming begins with parenting mostly. Yes. Our OG parents. A child develops her trust first onto their parents and when they find themselves in learning stages, parents often shame them for making mistakes. But here is the thing they never told you. It is not shameful to commit mistakes. It is a part of freedom to be able to commit mistakes. Read that last line again.

Another thing they didn't tell you about shame. A person who knows how to say no and when to say no has developed a sense of healthy shame. Yes. There are two types of shaming. Healthy and Toxic. But a person who is not having a clear structure of their boundaries often develop a toxic shame. Biggest identification of toxic shaming is that it binds you. It stops you from inviting positive possibilities and it bullies you for making mistakes so it does not permit you to even take the chance.

Toxic shame is at a surface level embarrassment. Ever felt embarrassed about a situation where you were not even at fault. Well, you got some inner work to do.

Another thing they hid from you. You can heal this toxic shame. First step is awareness. Next step is taking the gutsy steps. Doing those embarrassing mistakes deliberately. Next is associating your shame thought with a connecting thought of love and confidence. Yup. Love and confidence are enemies of toxic shame. Be friends with them. So whenever a shameful thought arises, ring a bell, oh hey reminder here, You are loved and you are confident so you are free to commit whatever you are trying to do and mistakes are beautiful. So it is alright even if you fail.

With Love and Love